I do not like these counseling sessions with Jay. Is that bad to say?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
I am totally tired of work. During the summers, Jay and I run the kitchen of a non-profit organization's summer camp. It has been such a drain on us physically and, at times, emotionally. There have been a lot of changes this year that have just worn us out. And this week/last week, we've had the most number of campers and it's been hectic. Kids eat so much! :P
In other news, Jay and I started seeing a counselor this past weekend. Our relationship has just been kind of festering the last few months. It's been hard to communicate with our busy schedules and Jay recommended that we see someone to help us with working on communicating skills. It's tough because I grew up Brethren, which is very Mennonite-like. You don't show your feelings, your emotions with people. You don't seek help for anything.
So we went to see the guy on Saturday. I kid you not, I wanted to vomit the entire time, and for at least an hour afterward. It was really good though. It's hard for me to talk about things that bother me, but I think I warmed up to our counselor fairly well. It feels weird going to a counselor, let alone with your best friend/love of your life going with you and talking about things. It was weird, I ended up crying/bawling, and we got our homework for the week: Jay has to wait in the bathroom after he uses the toilet (b/c I NEVER am the one to clog it, but I always have to unclog it), I have to talk to Jay when I'm frustrated, or to communicate when I'm able to, we have to have down time throughout the week to do something together (cuddle with no TV, hang out, take a walk, etc.), and Jay has to teach me to cook something. So far so good.
In other news, Jay and I started seeing a counselor this past weekend. Our relationship has just been kind of festering the last few months. It's been hard to communicate with our busy schedules and Jay recommended that we see someone to help us with working on communicating skills. It's tough because I grew up Brethren, which is very Mennonite-like. You don't show your feelings, your emotions with people. You don't seek help for anything.
So we went to see the guy on Saturday. I kid you not, I wanted to vomit the entire time, and for at least an hour afterward. It was really good though. It's hard for me to talk about things that bother me, but I think I warmed up to our counselor fairly well. It feels weird going to a counselor, let alone with your best friend/love of your life going with you and talking about things. It was weird, I ended up crying/bawling, and we got our homework for the week: Jay has to wait in the bathroom after he uses the toilet (b/c I NEVER am the one to clog it, but I always have to unclog it), I have to talk to Jay when I'm frustrated, or to communicate when I'm able to, we have to have down time throughout the week to do something together (cuddle with no TV, hang out, take a walk, etc.), and Jay has to teach me to cook something. So far so good.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
My First Post!
Hello there, World! (:
I'm not fully sure what to write on my first post. I have had a blog or two in my past; a zanga and a blogspot site in college, but I was hoping to be able to get back into it. The blogs that I had before were where I connected with real-life friends, but I want a space now where I can be hidden, in a sense. I want to connect with people that I don't know, and share things that I may not normally to a listening, non-judgmental ear. We'll see how it goes (:
So about me! I grew up on a farm in a small town that's now slowly turning into a suburb. I hate that idea of it becoming a big pond. I went off to college and when I came back 4 years later everything changed. I am an only child which explains why I keep things bottled up and why I don't get along with my mother. I am certified to teach elementary and special education and am "patiently" awaiting that elusive first contract. I've been substitute teaching for the last two years and I'm ready to explode if something good doesn't come my way very soon.
I grew up not only on a farm but also in the Brethren church. For those of you that know us Brethrens, we're ridic. I love my church, and my church family, however, "we" are so judgmental. My church has recently taken big steps to become more contemporary and attractive to a younger crowd and I've been turned off by it. I want very desperately to find my niche church, but it's hard because I had that church family for so long, for almost 25 years! If I were to find a church that I enjoy, I would find it very hard to leave what I grew up with.
I've also been with "Jay" for three years this coming fall. I love this boy to death. Last year, we went together and got a house (and 2 cats!). It's been a big step up for us, and while I'm not expecting it (okay, maybe I am..), I'm looking forward to become a Mrs. someday soon. I get along with his mother great, which has always been a number one priority for my future spouse. I guess one thing that turns me off is that he is from a very small family, or at least, only a few members are still around and active with him. It's one thing that I'm not used to. I'm from a huge family; my dad is one of five siblings, my mom is one of three, I have up towards about 20 cousins, who, growing up, we spent holidays together. I am close with 80% of my great aunts/uncles, I had met all but one of my great-grandparents. I recently (2003) lost my last great-grandmother, and (2009) my first grandparent. Growing up, I kind of expected to follow suit in getting involved in a big family. I didn't really expect to have to provide that for my own future household.
Okay. I think I shared a good bit here. Hopefully I keep this up. Happy blogging!
~Suz
I'm not fully sure what to write on my first post. I have had a blog or two in my past; a zanga and a blogspot site in college, but I was hoping to be able to get back into it. The blogs that I had before were where I connected with real-life friends, but I want a space now where I can be hidden, in a sense. I want to connect with people that I don't know, and share things that I may not normally to a listening, non-judgmental ear. We'll see how it goes (:
So about me! I grew up on a farm in a small town that's now slowly turning into a suburb. I hate that idea of it becoming a big pond. I went off to college and when I came back 4 years later everything changed. I am an only child which explains why I keep things bottled up and why I don't get along with my mother. I am certified to teach elementary and special education and am "patiently" awaiting that elusive first contract. I've been substitute teaching for the last two years and I'm ready to explode if something good doesn't come my way very soon.
I grew up not only on a farm but also in the Brethren church. For those of you that know us Brethrens, we're ridic. I love my church, and my church family, however, "we" are so judgmental. My church has recently taken big steps to become more contemporary and attractive to a younger crowd and I've been turned off by it. I want very desperately to find my niche church, but it's hard because I had that church family for so long, for almost 25 years! If I were to find a church that I enjoy, I would find it very hard to leave what I grew up with.
I've also been with "Jay" for three years this coming fall. I love this boy to death. Last year, we went together and got a house (and 2 cats!). It's been a big step up for us, and while I'm not expecting it (okay, maybe I am..), I'm looking forward to become a Mrs. someday soon. I get along with his mother great, which has always been a number one priority for my future spouse. I guess one thing that turns me off is that he is from a very small family, or at least, only a few members are still around and active with him. It's one thing that I'm not used to. I'm from a huge family; my dad is one of five siblings, my mom is one of three, I have up towards about 20 cousins, who, growing up, we spent holidays together. I am close with 80% of my great aunts/uncles, I had met all but one of my great-grandparents. I recently (2003) lost my last great-grandmother, and (2009) my first grandparent. Growing up, I kind of expected to follow suit in getting involved in a big family. I didn't really expect to have to provide that for my own future household.
Okay. I think I shared a good bit here. Hopefully I keep this up. Happy blogging!
~Suz
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