On Being Awful at Life..

So it's been just past 2 months since I've updated last...I feel utterly gross and awful for writing that. Life has been crazy and insane since school started.

I didn't end up getting a permanent position. I'm currently at a semi-local urban high school until next week. I've been there since the beginning of the year. I'm ready to peace out on out of here. The drive is killing me and the "extra" money I get is going straight to my gas tank.

Counseling sessions have been okay with Jay and myself. We've been going back and forth between solo sessions and group sessions. While I do see the improvement that has been coming out of it, it has been getting frustrating for me. Jay will randomly bring up "oh, we should have joint/split or group sessions" reads: "I have a problem with you that I want to bitch about". While I enjoy that we are able to talk about things and work through them, I don't like that I have to wait a day or two (or more!) to talk it out. If he can mention that he wants a joint session, he can quite easily spill the beans about what's buggin' him...

In other news semi-related to counseling, both of my sisters are now engaged. While I am certainly happy for them, I am also quite PO'ed. I'm the middle sister, the one that's been dating her significant other the longest, and I have yet to get engaged. And both weddings are in 2011. Oh, and, obviously, I'm in both of them. Kat's wedding is May, Bean's wedding is December. I have plenty of time to lament over them. I've been getting frustrated with Kat's stuff because she was my half sister growing up, and we weren't very close. While I'm all in support of being in her wedding, I'm just a bridesmaid with Bean. Kat's step sister is the matron of honor, and therefore, according to the book, the one in charge of all the shit. I'm Bean's maid of honor, so I'm in charge of all of her shit. However, Kat's matron wants to 'just be in charge of the bachelorette party'.....so she's left the planning and paying for the bridal shower to me and Bean. Bean is an awful party planner, so I've pretty much taken it up as my duty. That's great and all, but I'm just saying that if the matron asks for anything for her party end crap, I'll knock her out. Of all the siblings, I'm the one that gets the lowest income, and I hate that it's all piling up at once. I had my one cousin married last month, a bridal shower/wedding of Jay's cousin next month, and then Kat and Bean's wedding stuff that I'm running shows for. It's expensive to have friends...urgh..

Part of me is just, in general, that Jay has yet to just take a sh*t..